Flashbacks

I found this little book. The story goes like this: My friend Chels buys books from Hallmark where she used to work and then vandalizes them with little sayings of us and labels each kid as one of us. Then she wraps it all cute and gave them to her best friends. There were two or three cute little vintagey books with little kids all dressed up in them. Unfortunately, she used all of those on other people, so she had none left for me.

I got the odd book out. It was cute though, so cute that I have used it as decoration for years. I randomly opened it tonight for the first time in years, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover it might have been the best book of all. It's unreal how accurate this book depicts my relationship with many of my friends...

You all are amazing.

So here it is, my tribute to you via Sarah Mueller's
"the best of friends: celebrating the mystery and magic of true friendship"

You don't need much more than friends and cookies.

And with friends, "making cookies" doesn't have to involve actually baking the cookie dough.

Friends can have parties for any reason:

You-got-a-new-couch party!

  Our-favorite-show-is-starting-a-new-season party!

  It's-your-quarter-birthday party!

  It-didn't-rain-today party!

We-need-a-party-because-we-didn't-have-one-yesterday party!

You know you've found a friend when her opinion matters more to you than what the BILLIONS of other people in the world think.

A friend will never sugarcoat a bad situation, but she'll also never pronounce it hopeless...

  because no situation is hopeless when you've got a friend by your side.

A friend will tell you the truth.

Even when it hurts.

Even when the truth threatens your friendship.

  Because she knows that there is no real friendship without truth.

A true friend will not think twice of acting like a fool, an idiot, or the big B-word

  (especially the big b-word) if it will help you out.

You know you're tight when she stops loaning you the jacket you love...

  and just gives it to you for keeps.

Friends can talk about anything. In detail.

Friends don't expect you to clean the house before they come over.

A friend is simply someone...

  who listens.

Real friends sign on for everlasting on-call emergency duty.

If your friend is stranded at the airport, emotionally wrecked, or simply without anything to wear, in the hippocratic oath of friendship, you are required to be there, STAT.

Friendships are for being weird together.

There's a lot of comfort in the rituals you create with you friends.

Your once-a-week lunch or every other sunday movie night may seem like no big deal now,

  but when things get rough, they can be your lifeline to a little laughter, clarity, and sanity.

Friendship is when you can skip the warm-up and go right to the big questions.

  Is the medication working?

  Did he apologize?

  Did you call your mom about that thing?

Best friends also have the best fights. And the best sob fests when they make up.

A real friendship can withstand some good yelling. You should be able to read the riot act to a friend (and vice versa) and still be able to go out for coffee the next day.

(Apologies included with the cappuccino, of course.)

Women need friends and men. Both.

But the honest truth is most often, if not always, you'll need the friends because of the men...

not the other way around.

Friends always have something to say to each other, and sometimes they don't even need words.

Friends can have an entire conversation using only pronouns and never once get confused.

All friendships hinge on forgiveness.

Forgiveness for our shortcomings, our unreliable memories, our self-centeredness.

Forgiveness is the magic that makes being friends possible.

A friend gives you space to be gloriously messed up but is willing to help you get straightened out the moment you ask.

Talk therapy: one of the best parts of having friends.

Friends know how old you really are and how old you'd like to be.

And they do their best to make you move those numbers closer together.

Friends know what color your hair really is.

And they are prepared to tell you whether the color you now claim is an improvement... or not.

Friends know your weaknesses...

treat them gently, and get a kick out of seeing you grow beyond them.

Friends know that getting into a fender bender isn't really a story.

Getting into a fender bender with your former roommate's ex-boyfriends brother-now that's a story.

Reason you need friends #1

Someone needs to diagnose what's wrong with your martini (Chelsey crossed this out & replaced it with "soda") and give you the courage to send it back to the bar for one that tastes right.

Reason you need friends #2

When you make a fool out of yourself, you need someone willing to remind you of all her own most embarrassing moments-just to heal your smarting little ego.

Reason you need friends #3

You must have the voice of reason to counter all the insinuating advertising; toxic fashion magazines; and lying, thieving dressing room mirrors. We all need to hear the truth from time to time: You're beautiful. Period.

Reason you need friends #4

Once you hit a certain age, you really must replace your parents as your "emergency contact" number.

Reason you need friends #5

Friends can clue you in on everything your mom forgot to teach you.

Reason you need friends #6

Second opinions are a good, good thing. On those jeans. On taking that new job. On Mr. Could Be Right.

Reason you need friends #7

You always have an exit strategy out of bad parties and awkward dates. "Oh. So sorry. My friend is feeling really ill, and I've just got to take her home."

You can tell a friend "don't ask," and she won't. (She knows you'll tell her about it in five minutes anyway.)

Friends understand that it's not gossip if it's good news.

A friend will always do what's best for you, whether you like it, or not.

A good friend reminds you of who you are and who you can be.

A real friend will not set you up with one of her bet guy friends unless she's absolutely positive that it will work out.

And I mean white dress, butter-cream frosting work out... 

  So, pretty much, a real friend will almost never set you up with one of her guy friends.

"Single" doesn't mean "alone" if you've got friends.

OK. The truth is everybody neglects her friends in some way after falling in love.

But a real friend will come to her senses within a few weeks and call you, begging for forgiveness and a good gab fest.

Absolve her, because someday it will be your turn.

A friend knows when to nag and when to nurture, when to contradict and when to commiserate.

A friend is someone who knows the words to all your favorite songs

and isn't afraid to sing them with you at the top of her lunges.

With the windows down.

At a stop light.

When people are staring.

A real friend will spot you when you're broke...

  and find free stuff to do with you when your budget is tight.

Without friends, we'd all have to eat cheesecake by ourselves.

And everyone knows you shouldn't eat cheesecake alone.

Friends know that you can acknowledge you irrationality and still want to live in it for a while. 

And a true friend will live there with you until you're ready to come back to the real world.

When you're being emotional and hormonal,

  a friend knows to just order you the large frozen custard and let you rage.

A friend can listen to you expound at length on your latest passion,

whether it be a boy,

a band,

a book,

or an idea. 

If you're into it, then she's ready to learn.

It's such a relief to be in the company of friends  who speak your language, read your mind...

and sing your songs.

One of life's little joys is recognizing the name of a friend in your inbox amongst the sea of spam.

A really good friendship will change you;

  It will make you into more of yourself instead of whoever you were trying to be.

Real friends allow you to change.

Friendship is knowing you can call her in the middle of a fight...

  and she'll still pick up the phone, just in case you're in trouble.

A real friend knows when to offer advice...

  and when to just offer hugs.

A friend is the first to start clapping for you...

  and the last to stop.

There are so many parts in this book that remind me specifically of one of you, and I think that's great. Know that you always and forever have a friend in me.

Love, love, love you all :)

S is for...

Scrabble. I've been struggling lately.

It's hard to make a decision and play when you just can't find the right word you're sure is out there.

Gosh, I wish I knew what it was. It's also pretty challenging to live life when you are searching for the perfect time to make a move with a bunch of Zs and Js on your tray.

Here's the parallel: S also stands for searching. If you continue to search for your vowels while you still have a full tray of Zs and Js, and try to have a seven-letter word before you make a move, you won't get very far.

You need a mix of consonants and vowels to come up with the perfect word. It is almost always necessary to purge the old consonants to get the 100pt word.

2 Corinthians says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation."

K, read it once more. (that helps it sink in a little better) 

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation. The OLD HAS PASSED away; behold, the new has come. All this is FROM GOD, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation."

So what we've learned is that the old and new do not coexist. In order to be in Christ, to be a new creation through Him, we must throw out what does not represent Him. This is what I'll be practicing this week. Purging the habits that do not honor the Lord and making room for the ones that bring Him glory. 

Therefore, that is my challenge to you this week: look for your habits that are useless, and replace it with something that brings glory to God. That way, any move you make will be a good one.

Much love, 

V

My Commanding Personality

Wait, I don't have one of those.

Hello again, this is Vanessa, your blogging friend. Let's be real. I'm not commanding.

So, why the title? I don't want to be an overly-commanding coworker, friend, or family member. Yes, there is a need for that sometimes, but nobody likes a know-it-all. There is a part of me that needs to take control though, that is I want to command my day. I want to use the power of words to speak positivity, energy, and the Spirit of the almighty God into my day. Why? Because I can. And so can you. Words have power.

Today I want to go talk about ways I plan to do this.

First, attitude really is everything. A study from the Mayo Clinic came up with incredible results. A positive-thinking person is more likely to have a longer life, elevated moods, lower stress level, a better immune system, and a stronger sense of well-being and ability to cope during traumatic or stressful events. The bottom line here: cheer up!

Next, guard your heart. "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Luke 6:45. If you want to have power over words, you must take control of your thoughts. This takes practice and intentionality. The bottom line here: use discretion.

If you guard your heart, you will have a much easier time watching what you say. This is the next piece of advise I would offer. 

This post has been surprisingly difficult to write, and I think it's because this is something that is hard to put into practice. It's easy to wake up on the good mornings and praise God for the sun and the free time and the money.

But life isn't always that way. Today for example: it's raining, I'm broke (I even have a broken car at the moment), and people let me down. So here I am, saying that when I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was not praise God. But when I wake up and do, it is ENORMOUSLY easier to see the blessing, or the light through the trees.


But one thing I can rest on, God is so faithful, I know He is with me always, and I know He is with you.

Much love,
V